a screenplay by
based on the album by Pepper Coyote & Fox Amoore
Copyright (c) 2018 R.A.A.A.R.
INT. THE GUEST ROOM - DAY
Sahny wakes with a groan inside the bathtub. Clover kneels next to them. The music of "HEY BUDDY" fades in, Sahny clutches their head and squints as the music begins. The bathroom mirror slides away to reveal an unenthusiastic Mariachi band, playing to the music.
Hey buddy, how are ya feeling?
Ugh, can we calm it with the trumpets?
Hey buddy how are ya feeling?
There's only one answer.
Don't you sound self-satisfied?
Aren't you quite the romancer?
My head is splitting, I mean, are you kidding?
'cause nobody sleeps in the tub consciously!
I think my tail is missing. I can't find my feet and
you ask how I'm feeling... What did we do last night?
I wasn't there for most of it. Hey, Thistle do you know where their footpaws are?
Oh, are they awake? Heeeeey buddy, how are you feeling?
I got 'em right here, but you really don't remember how they got... "Lost"? Well...
10 glasses in and some rabbit asks you for a foot race.
I was there begging you not to, there wasn't enough space.
Into the hallway, you scream "out of my way!"
Right into a doorway. You crashed in a heap!
Shedding your footpaws, you dashed like two outlaws.
You broke at least 4 laws, on your way,
outside to "get some air."
Yeah. That sounds like me. Did I win the race?
You both ran in opposite directions. I'd call it a draw.
So, what about my tail?
Oh Baz has that, I think. Baz!
c-could you keep it down please?
Oh right... sorry.
Heeeeeeey! you're up. How are you feelin'?
...Shut up, I want my tail?
Outside the hotel we chilled with the smokers and sweat-ers.
You say "Check out my new dance move!" and everyone scatters.
You started spinning, your tail rips, goes flinging,
along with your lunch which splats onto the sidewalk.
Luckily, your head was left on someone's bed!
So that's one less mess that we have to deal with today.
You got a new nickname, "The Hurling Dervish"
Managed to keep the bodysuit clean somehow. So that's a win. So, where is my head then?
The door opens and dauB peaks his head into the room.
Hey guys! ohoooooh. They in there? Hey buddy how--
I SWEAR TO GOD! cut it out. Where is my head!? Oh wait, it's there under the sink? How the heck did it end up there?
I walked you back to your guest room and then I went searching.
Retracing all of our steps, asking where it was lurking
Some random dog-person had it on his person
could have been much worse if he's put it on.
On his shoulder it perched. He was making a Cerberus.
I had to snatch it away and be gone.
CLOVER, THISTLE, BAZ, AND DAUB
You do the drinking and we'll do the thinking.
Now, drink lots of water while we give our spiel.
We wouldn't be asking if you weren't the ass-king.
So tell us buddy
How. Do. You. Feel?!
The mariachi band concludes their final notes and walks out of the room behind the opening as the mirror slides back into place. Clover hands Sahny a frosted plastic cup of water. Baz and dauB exit the bathroom.
( END: "HEY BUDDY" )
Closing the bathroom door behind them, Baz and dauB return to the main section of the guest room. Baz smiling and shaking her head.
I hope they'll be okay.
Sahny? Yeah, they're solid.
It wouldn't be so funny, if it weren't so common.
They both chuckle softly until Baz breaks into a yawn that grows pretty loud. She catches herself. Embarrassed, she covers her mouth.
Oops. Sorry 'bout that.
Daub yawns and stretches, his tail curling upward.
Been awhile since I've pulled an all-nighter. It was cool we got to hang out with your friends last night. Thistle's a pretty cool dude. And my goodness, Sahny is a character! If I did comics anymore, I'd make one of them in particular.
Baz looking drowsy, glances at the clock on the nightstand.
I guess I should go to the dealer's den.
So that I can break even for this con!
Er, thank you for all your help last night. I can never repay you!
Ain't that the truth.
Baz claps a hand to her mouth.
What is wrong with me today?
The pleasure is all mine.
Sorry, I can be a bit too honest for my own good.
I noticed! It's kinda something I like that about you though.
I like plenty about y--
Baz interrupts herself with a grunt. She covers her eyes and distorts her face trying to keep any more words from falling out. Daub scratches his chin, just under the biggest laughing grin.
I should go.
I'll meet ya there. Gonna go to my room 'n freshen up.
Baz grabs her bag and lazily waves an arm around, in some indication of a farewell, then walks out the door.
Daub picks up his sketchbook from the bed. He stops when he notices the pile of incorrect badges. He picks them up and flips through some. About that time, Thistle exits the bathroom, looking perplexed.
Thistle turns to him.
Sahny should be fine.
Thistle turns toward the door.
The sound of the door shuts. Daub tightens his lips and looks off to the side for a moment. Returning his attention back to the badges, he shakes his head and hurriedly sets them down on the bed as if he was looking at something he wasn't supposed to.
Daub heads for the exit. Clover pulls open the bathroom door. They both startle at the intersection.
Whoops, my bad!
(looking into the main area)
Hey, did Thistle leave?
Like a minute ago.
Did he say where--
He's stopped by the hallow thumping of the plastic hotel tub echoing from the bathroom. He turns to see Sahny fumbling out of the tub, then immediately falling to the floor.
Dammit, Sahny! I thought I told you -- Oh, lift the lid. Not on the towels!
That can't be good. I'll just let myself out.
EXT. F.U.R.S. DRIVING RANGE - DAY
Thistle stands solemnly on a paved ledge overlooking the glittering pond below. In the distance, golfers drive balls into the water.
Thistle lets out a deep sigh. A moment later, Clover appears from the parking lot behind him.
Hey, bud. There you are. You okay?
Yeah. I think I will be.
Sorry we didn't get to hang out last night.
Hey, man. What's going on?
Thistle closes his eyes tight and breathes a long, shaky sigh.
Clov-- Jesse, do you ... want to be with me?
Oh, geeze. Look I...
Clover sighs as he runs a hand through the fuzz atop his head and rests it on the back of his neck.
It's okay, I can be a bit ... needy. I'm sorry if I put that on you. I tried to do too much with this one weekend. I really wanted you to like me.
Turning toward Clover, Thistle's voice cracks as he desperately tries to meet Clover's eyes.
Because, I like you. A lot. But, I can understand why ... you don't.
His words get lost in his throat.
Oh, Thistle. I like you too. This weekend was amazing. The first time in a long time, that I actually enjoyed a con. This time I spent with you ... meant something. But, for me, the timing ... it's just off.
Heh, yeah. Time has not been on my side this weekend.
It seldom is.
I guess we have to enjoy the moments as they come.
You've been hanging out with Sahny.
I like Sahny, they're cool.
Yeah, Sahny is good people.
Speaking of which, I want to go say goodbye.
Well, seeing as it's Sunday. I bet they're at the coffee shop.
Clover smiles faintly for a moment. Thistle sniffles. Clover's smile fades.
Clover, should we just be friends?
For now ...
Clover takes a breath, nodding slightly.
Can I get a hug?
Clover solemnly smiles and nods his head.
Thistle dives in for a big hug with enough force to knock Clover back a step. Thistle buries his face into Clover's chest.
Do you know you have the shiniest lushest fur?
Yeah, I may have heard that in another life.
Clover wraps an arm around Thistle as they turn to walk toward the hotel.
INT. CHAIN-BRAND COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Sahny yawns waiting in line at "Rawrbucks", the generic chain-brand coffee shop. In front of them waits RILEY, a brown-eyed dingo, their golden yellow tail wagging in anticipation of caffeine. Upon making the order, hurried paws begin to pat down every pocket of their shorts.
Oh no! I forgot my wallet upstairs! Would it be okay if I came right back down with it? I'm so sorry.
Before the barista can respond, Sahny takes a few steps forward, tired eyes locking onto the menu item the hyena craved.
Just put it on my bill, I will have a venti sweet cream cold brew coffee.
Sahny quickly reaches for their crotch while both the barista and the dingo look on confused and worried. Sahny smiles and whips out a debit card.
Hey man it's convenient, and it means I nev-- I only lose my wallet some of the time.
With persistent weird looks the hyena cackles and places the wallet back in their pants. The barista nervously laughs before jumping at the opportunity to make drinks and end the conversation before it gets worse. Meanwhile the dingo is chuckling and motioning at a table for them to sit at, allowing Sahny to move out of the way before making the situation more awkward.
I appreciate you buying my sanity back for me, how's the con been for you?
Man, it's been a rollercoaster of emotion and exhaustion. Some crazy good things have happened tho, pretty stoked about ‘em. What about you fam? Did you do all you hoped to this year? Feels like every year I dream too big.
Yeah, I mean I had some unexpected happenstances take place, had a really cool suiter hang out with me for awhile one night. Made some new connections with makers and photographers. I'd say all around it was a good con.
Oh, no way, you suit?! Sick! I suit too! Man, lemme grab some photos for you--
Sahny picks up their phone to notice it is dead.
Shoot! I must not've charged my phone last night. Dang it! I was in the dance competition though, I don't think I won but it was a ton of fun. Oh, man I'm so sorry, what was your name again?
Sahny pulls out a battery pack from their crotch pocket, plugging their phone into it as it begins to charge.
I'm Riley. Hey, add me on Social--Ah, your phone's dead.
Oh! That's chill, I'll write down my username for SC so that I can hit you up later with those photos.
It'd be super sweet to have a suiter buddy for these cons, it makes getting around so much easier.
Riley hops up as the drinks are placed on the counter with the callout of their orders, two venti sweet cream cold brew coffees. Sahny exchanges a folded piece of paper for the drink.
You like cold brew too?!
Oh yeah! It's such a smooth way to get your caffeine.
I needed it or I was gonna die.
Sahny's phone lights up as it turns on from the charge of the battery pack.
Oh shoot, what time is it?! Clover's gonna murder me if I'm not back on time. We'll catch up online! Have a safe trip back home fam... Hopefully I'll see you around at the next one!
Sahny rushes away, Riley's tail vibrates as they wave them off. The dingo opens up SocialCreature and peers over their two accounts: @RileyWily and @TurnTheKeystone. Riley opens up the piece of paper with a pleasant gasp.
INT. DEALER'S DEN - DAY
Baz sits at her table, her arm pinned under her head, her cheek smashed against her palm. She leans heavily on one side. Her eyes stare blankly with a half-lidded gaze.
Someone walks up to her table. Without changing her posture or gaze, she pulls a plastic wrapped art piece and hands it to the individual.
(cheek pull, groggy)
Ffank you, ffery much
When out of nowhere, a heavenly light shines on a disembodied, chain-brand coffee cup that floats in front of her face. She focuses her eyes on the cup and reaches out her paws to accept it.
You don't handle little sleep well, do you?
Baz shakes her head. Standing there with the coffee cup in hand, dauB looks at her with concern. She takes the cup and puts it to her lips and draws a pleasurable sip.
DauB sits on the edge of the table, sipping from his own cup.
So, I know Thistle's leaving soon. You wanna get outta here? I'll hand out art for you.
Oh, would you? You don't mind do you?
Nah, not at all.
Grabbing her jacket as she stands from the chair. Leaving her cup at the table.
Oh, thank you!
She slips on her jacket and stops to rush off. A moment later, she rushes back in and grabs her cup. Turning to rush off again, dauB reaches out for her arm.
Just one second. I wanted to talk to you about something.
She turns to him, all bright eyed now. A shimmer dances in her eyes. She stands there perplexed at what his words might be.
What is it?
Daub sighs and sets his coffee cup down. He stands up, looking all but serious for a second. Then he pulls out a cutout art piece.
She takes a second to recognize it, then becomes incredibly embarrassed. She tries to snag it, dauB lifts it out of reach.
Crap! Where did you get that?!
Daub looks up at it and smirks. He leans against the table and hands it to her.
Please don't be mad. I didn't mean to see them. They caught my eye this morning. Especially that one.
It's not your 'sona though.
But, it kind of looks like me, don't it?
She looks down and timidly shifts her weight.
Can I buy it?
No, you can't buy it!
'Cause if anything, I owe you.
You don't owe me anything. If you insist though, I'll take that one as payment.
Oh, alright. I can live with that.
And, the rest of them, I'll buy.
She shoots an amused look of "Oh, you." at him.
But, you gotta go say bye!
She grabs her coffee and turns to walk off. She pauses, looks dauB in the eye. She brushes his forearm, stopping at his hand. She smiles, squeezing his hand. She rushes off.
We'll can talk later!
Daub dips his head. His shoulders droop and it almost appears like he shrinks a bit, giving the faintest impression of a smaller cat.
EXT. F.U.R.S. GUEST DROP-OFF - DAY
Baz walks through the glass doors. She joins Clover, Thistle, and Sahny already outside, standing by a rideshare vehicle with the trunk open.
Packed my bags, know I'm forgetting something.
Wish I could take you all home with me.
There's a plane, bound to fly you off to somewhere,
back to the inside of my phone.
And I can't stop thinkin. Yeah, my mind is racin'!
Why can't I stay here with you?
I'm sad it's over, and I'm glad it happened.
But please, please don't say it!
No, I won't say goodbye.
And, I don't want to hear you say it either.
Only time can keep us apart now.
So, I won't say goodbye.
But, I can tell you, it was a good con.
Here we stand, get in line to get out.
Kinda wish the roads would all be closed.
Oh, no more darkness! No I have seen the light!
And I'll be thinkin' of you, as we crawl back home.
And my job is waitin' and these bills need payin' and hey!
I kinda miss the place I'm from.
All the pictures we took, and the stuff we're bringin' home.
Can remind us, can remind us of the good times.
No, I won't say goodbye.
And I don't want to hear you say it either.
Only time can keep us apart now.
So, I won't say goodbye.
But, I can tell you, it was a good con.
One weekend. Time to take a chance even though it hurts, I'll be better.
One weekend. Time to tell the world that you couldn't care less what it thinks.
One weekend. Time to live your life time to let 'em in to live it with you.
One weekend. If you blink you might miss it soak it in while you got it.
One weekend. Isn't this the life?
And I wouldn't change it for no one.
One weekend. I could go for at least one more weekend!
Clover slams the trunk door on the rideshare vehicle.
( END: "GOOD CON" )
Thistle's face is all scrunched up ready to burst into tears. His lips tremble and he falls into bear's chest. Clover wraps his arms around the tiny dog. Thistle mumbles something incoherent into Clover's chest. Clover pats him on the back. Thistle's back trembles with sobs. Sahny and Baz press in to a group hug. Clover adjusts his arms around them all.
Pulling away, Thistle wipes his eyes and puts on a faint smile. He goes to say something, but the words are lost. He swallows and tries again, to no sound. Clover places a hand on his shoulder.
It's okay... We'll be online. Until next time.
Thistle swallows and presses his eyes shut, the glisten of tear. He nods slightly. Sits in the car seat. Looks back and waves to them. The car door shuts and drives away.
The three watch as the car disappears around a corner. Still turned away from the others, Clover rubs his face and swallows.
So you guys ... wanna catch closing ceremonies? Before we load up.
Sahny nods. Baz smiles and pats Clover on the shoulder. Clover takes in a deep breath and walks toward the entrance. The other two follow behind. Baz gives Clover a pat on the back. He reaches an arm around her for a friendly side hug. Sahny also hugs the bear as they walk through the the entrance.
INT. CON MAIN STAGE - DAY
Baz, Clover, and Sahny disappear in the crowd as they find some seats. Diego jumps onto the far side of the stage, and walks up to the curtain.
Diego parts the curtain entering backstage. Karen rushes up flustered.
Diego! Diego! There you are! I have a laptop set up for you if you wanna write up your speech or at least bullet points you wish to cover. I think that's all you have time for at this point. It's right over h--
Karen turns to direct the hyena to the laptop when a paw calmly touches her back, patting it.
Karen, you're a dear. C'mere.
Karen, distraught and surprised turns to see Diego, his mane well-groomed, his purple tailcoat pressed, his eyes calm, and a warm smile on his muzzle. Diego pulls the well dressed and shocked fox in for a hug.
Diego, still wearing that warm smile, steps back from the hug and stares into the fox's steely eyes.
My dear, I've been up for hours. Wrote the speech, practiced it, I even ironed my suit. And I look damn good, if I do say so myself.
Diego swings his arms showing himself off to his cherished assistant. Karen stands there astonished. The hyena snaps the fingers on both his paws simultaneously, then points forward at Karen.
I got this.
The main purple curtains slide open to reveal Diego onstage. The roar of the audience fades to a whisper. A spotlight flashes on to him. The theater lights fade. The audience goes quiet. Diego stands for a moment with his head down. Someone in the audience coughs.
I want to thank all of you for coming to Fursuasion. A little birdie told me to take my time and write these closing ceremonies, so I did. I was gonna do what I usually do, regurgitate numbers, say which number con we are now, regale you all with how big our fursuit festival was. And I just can't do that. I don't think that's why any of you are here. There are a multitude of reasons to come to our little growing con.
Baz, Sahny, and Clover sit side-by-side watching.
To meet new people, to see old friends...
Clover adjusts his folded arms. He glances down, smiles, and nods.
To make a little cash...
Baz sips from her coffee. Her phone sits in her lap with a doodle of dauB and her hugging. A notification pops up reading "5 new commissions, 10 new followers..."
To make a name for yourself...
Sahny exchanges stickers and photos in a SocialCreature chat with Riley.
Diego looks out on the audience, speaking to each person.
To see amazing things ... and inject a little insanity into your life.
Diego raises an eyebrow and gives a large toothy grin on the last part compelling the crowd to laugh.
We all want that one weekend, that one... special weekend. That's what I and our staff want to provide for all of you. We work hard all year and especially the last couple of days because we know how important that one weekend is. I am so proud of all our volunteers, every one of them, from the leads down to the new recruits. They work so hard and are so good at what they do that I...
...shouldn't have to worry about anything but being the con chair. If you are a volunteer please stand up so we can show our appreciation.
Various staff members stand here and there while the audience and Diego gives them a raucous applause.
Diego gestures to the crowd to quiet. As the audience calms he puts a finger to his muzzle. A slight smirk grows on his face as he continues.
With a renewed attitude, our rate of growth, and the number of gracious volunteer signups, I don't think Fursuasion really defines what we are anymore.
Diego places a paw to the side of his muzzle as if he's whispering to the audience a playful little secret.
It was an awful name anyways. So I'm declaring Fursuasion officially dead! We're done! No more Fursuasion.
Diego looks away from the audience as he says this. The audience gasps and murmurs. He pauses for a moment, then the smirk on his muzzle grows again.
You guys made us bigger. You guys made us badder! I should know, I visited some of your room parties.
Diego points to someone in the audience and nods, then gestures the "call me" sign.
So we'll be back right here, next year, we'll be at Bigger. Badder. Fur. Con!
Diego turns his back to the crowd as a pair of purple curtains part to reveal a giant sign with the letters "BBFC".
Karen stands to the side of the stage.
Fireworks erupt from the stage on either side. Gasps and screams can be heard from the audience. Diego stands there in all his glory while one errant firework fires in the wrong direction and hits the second "B" in the new sign, and half of it topples to the stage with a loud smack.
(under her breath)
Good lord, he needs to stop messing with A/V.
The petrified hyena slowly turns to the now stunned and hushed audience.
(stumbling on the words)
I... of course meant uh... Biggest... Little... Fur Con!!
The hyena sports his infamous toothy grin, motioning to the broken sign resembling "BLFC". The audience slow claps, growing into a full uproar.
Thank you all for coming! See ya next year! I'm out!!
Diego bows dramatically.
A tiny, familiar Sparrow sits in the rafters above the stage. It's little head twitches as Diego claps and walks backstage. The bird dives off the ceiling supports towards the audience. Fluttering its wings, it catches wind and glides over the audience and out the main stage doors. It continues past fursuiter and con-goer, through the halls of the F.U.R.S. Gliding through the glass double doors in the front. And outside into the open air. The doors shut.